bonkalore:

slightlyburntcinnamonroll:

hawkeys:

“Batman has more than one son,“ I say into the mic.

The crowd boos. I begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speaks and commands silence from the room.

“She’s right,” I hear. I look around for the owner of the voice. There in the fifth row, he stands: Bruce Wayne himself.

“What does he know about Batman” the crowd replies and resumes booing. Bruce Wayne discreetly leaves the room. In an unrelated turn of events, a voice speaks from above. “She’s right,” I hear. There crashing through the skylight: Batman.

#i can’t believe bruce wayne missed his chance to meet batman

such-justice-wow:

saintofpride201:

wrrrench:

frantzfandom:

notsuperstitious:

You’re clearly not old enough to have children if you’re thinking of naming them after anime characters or some shit

when sasuke inuyasha grows up he’s gonna kick your ass for talking shit

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Those… are actual names. Literally every name in the bible is a real name…

I hate to break it to you but most anime characters also have real names

twitch-eaglehart:

Imagine doing this in front of a 14th century peasant

thecryptocreep:

catchymemes:

Snowing at sea

Why do I never think about the possibility of snow on the ocean???
Now I see why, because it’s too ethereal

fuckyahumor:

gardentechgodgnostic:

katjohnadams:

localgays:

updatepls:

supermegafoxyawesomehotnot:

cosima-wants-the-d-elphine:

story time.

the look in your eyes is what gets me.

“so i return to my body.. from the other plane of existence.. in which i scream”

DEAD

“Story time.

I have this one white friend.

And - [mocking] I have this one white friend, I’m not racist. And like - where was I even going with this? [laughs] She’s not even my friend, she’s just someone I know. Okay, whatever, ‘kay, so this one white person that I know - [under breath] (I know a lot, my entire town is white.) Anyway, um, one day, she comes up to me, and she’s like,

Jenny, what are you?” and, you know, that’s like white person talk for like, [sarcastic mocking] “what FUCKING country do you come from? Like obviously you’re not from here.”  And I’m like, “um, I’m Chinese.”

And she’s like “What? You’re Chinese?”

And I’m like, “Yeah, I don’t know why that’s so much of a surprise.”

And she’s like “Well, I thought you said you were Asian.”

And - [deep breath] [pause] there was a moment, a good minute and a half, where I left my body and ascended onto another plane, and I screamed into the abyss of that plane [pause] because she did not know that Asian and Chinese are… I, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t even… you know, whatever.

So, return to my body, from the [pause] other plane of existence in which I scream. A lot. And I tell her: “You know, China, China, you see, the country that I’m from, is a part of Asia.”

And she’s like, “Where’s Asia?”

[whispers] She asked me. Where Asia is.

And I say, “Well, Asia consists of, you know..” and I list the different Asian countries and she’s like “Whaat?”

And I’m like [sarcastically] it’s, it’s this thing, you know, that you learn about in like third grade geography. It’s a continent! And she’s like “A continent?”

And I’m like “Yes.”

And she goes, “so it’s not a country?”

I’m like, “No.”

And she’s like “What’s the difference?”

And I’m like [deep breath] “America, you see, has like North, Central, South, so like, take somewhere from Canada; they are North American but they’re also Canadian…”

And she’s like “I don’t understand.”

And I’m like “It’s okay, just know that I am both Asian AND Chinese” and you know what, she is still confused to this day, and I [pause] am still on the other plane of existence, screaming, as I tell this story to you. So you can come join me, on the separate plane of existence.”

I WILL ALWAYS REBLOG THIS SHIT BECAUSE IT IS TOO REAL, TOO TRUE.

I’m actually crying

best story of all time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kitanoko:

d0ct0r-chan:

irene-draws:

they did surgery on a grape

the surgery went wrong and the grape died but thats fine 

LMAO OMFG

instantezra:

some of you have never been pointed out by rami malek in a police line-up for pickpocketing his wallet at Dominos Pizza and it shows. grow up.

My rooms are finally organized 😭😭😭 It only took me like three fucking days 🙄 Should I move the loft bed out of the craft room or move it and make it the needlepoint nook?
https://www.instagram.com/p/BsCb2rMHgU1/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1uzljrk0quev0

61below:

the-axiom-of-choice:

perissologist:

unorthodoxchronicles:

little-sister-shotgun:

savethematches:

tumblr dont sleep on letterkenny

Honest to god I can’t understand anything any of them say.

It’s two gay guys using hockey terms to catcall the two presumably straight hockey players (riley and jonesy) who then counter by being comfortable enough to accept the compliments. The conversation then continues along to describe different words and terms for a variety of queer folk as if said words were also hockey players. So when they say a word got cut it’s merely a euphanism for people agreeing not to use that term. The whole scene is two (presumably straight) men being educated gently on the subject by two gay men and listening rather than bickering.

this dialogue is like something out of a greek drama it’s both downright melodic and utterly incomprehensible

ALL OF THE SEASONS OF LETTERKENNEY ARE NOW ON HULU! DONT SLEEP ON LETTERKENNEY

CMON TIK TOK GIVE YOUR BALLS A TUG YA TITFUCKER

‘Usually we just fist each other’

What language dis is

rat-lesbian:

my spotify algorithm: finally!! I know what music you like!

me: (listens to “Take Me Home, Country Roads” for an hour)

my spotify algorithm:

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factualfeminist:

IM FUCKING DYING

deadlilmoon:

sarahlouiseghost:

castielsteenwolf:

hopeful-weirdo:

skeletonize:

skeletonize:

i was looking at old photos and i wanted to show you how our story went, a little

bronwyn and i met at age 12 but i dont have any photos from then, really, but this is from grade 9 science class when we were being goofs and i was 13

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this is from our first ever sleepover, we couldn’t stop laughing and we were sleeping on a mattress on the floor and we went to boston pizza and got plastic rings that we both still have (bronwyn kept hers on a necklace after that)

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i went to bronwyn’s cottage for the first time in the summer after grade 9

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we had our first kiss in grade 10 when i was 14 and were in a weird kind of dating limbo period

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then i moved to the states and turned 15 and told bronwyn i was in love with her and we visited every chance we could and she sent me flowers and packages

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then i went to junior prom with her and bronwyn cut her hair

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then we had the most beautiful summer where i spent 5 weeks at her cottage and i cut my hair

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then i went back to miami for 12th grade and turned 16 and bronwyn was 17 and we went to senior prom together

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then i moved back to canada for university when i was turning 17 and we finally lived in the same place again and we loved each other so much and got breakfast together every day

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then after a beautiful summer we started living together when i was 18 and bronwyn was 19  and we went to bahrain together and bronwyn dyed her hair brown and now i get to see her every morning and every night and we adventure in our city and have a coffee shop and love each other more than i could have thought. there were periods of scary intense darkness but we love each other so much and i’ve never been happier. i’ve known bronwyn since i was 12 and now i’m almost 19 and i love her more and more.

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i’m never on here anymore, but i wanted to share that almost a month ago bronwyn and i got engaged!! under a beautiful tree on a perfect day and for the rest of my life i get to pursue her and care for her and make her laugh. i’ve said this so many times but now more than ever: if this is all i get, it’s so much more than i could have hoped for.

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This makes me so happy

this is the future gays want

This is amazing! 😭🙌🏻👻

Beautiful 😭

i am so conditioned by Tragic Gays ™ that I was terrified it would end sadly but it DIDNT AND IM SO HAPPY FOR YALL

prasejeebus:

adumbscotts:

crentist:

will this lady survive this drag of the century

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If anyone asks why Julia Louis-Dreyfus has won 5 consecutive Emmy’s for Veep direct them to this video

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

lowkeystillsleeping:

cxwardiice:

“Am I repressing trauma or can I genuinely not remember my childhood” a novel by me

Is This Memory Real Or Did I Make It Up To Cope: a thrilling sequel

“Did I ImagineThis Abuse Or Is My Emotional Abuser Just Really Good At Gaslighting” The miniseries adaptation